


Only If - 3 a.m.

by Nabamitakanjilal



Series: My favorite songs and Fics inspired from it. [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Feels, Light Angst, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Park Chanyeol is Whipped, Pining, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, but Chanyeol doesn't know, i just rambled about Kyungsoo, only for Kyungsoo though, please forgive me for this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nabamitakanjilal/pseuds/Nabamitakanjilal
Summary: Chanyeol thinks about all the feelings he has for Kyungsoo and wonders how different things would have been if only he was brave enough.OrJust Chanyeol just feeling all the feels he has for Kyungsoo and being whipped af.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Series: My favorite songs and Fics inspired from it. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556614
Comments: 7
Kudos: 44





	Only If - 3 a.m.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a series that I'm trying out for the first time. I hope it works and that I can keep updating it consistently. This fic was inspired by this song  3 a.m. - Finding Hope and this Chansoo  video . This fic had been on my mind for a while and it's purely self-indulgent.  
> I hope you enjoy my sleepless rambling.

** 3 a.m. **

“Kyungsoo…”

“Hmm?”

“Aren’t you going to sleep?”

“hmm…”

“It’s almost three in the morning. You have to get up early tomorrow.”

“I know…”

A sleepy reply came in through the cell phone and Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile. Kyungsoo was probably struggling hard to not fall asleep right now. He let himself imagine how cute a sleepy Kyungsoo would look in his head and tried hard not to squeal. God, he was so whipped.

He chuckled in an attempt to hide the strong surge of emotions in his heart before saying, “I think you should sleep now, Soo. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.”

“Hmm…Okay…” Kyungsoo answered softly, almost stifling a yawn. “Good night, Chanyeollie.”

With that, the line went off and Chanyeol let out a soft sigh. He removed the slightly warm device from his ear and looked at the call records. He didn’t even realize that they were on the phone for more than three hours. He placed the gadget on the table before opening the door to his balcony and entering it.

He instantly shivered as a gust of cold wind blew in his face. Autumn was just around the corner, making the days shorter and nights colder. He knew he shouldn’t be here right now since he had always been prone to cold. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help how beautiful Seoul looked at night when the streets were asleep and there was nobody around.

He couldn’t ignore how breathtaking the trees looked at night, how their green leaves were turning yellow with every passing day as if to remind everyone that with the time you have to change yourself. He was mesmerized with the empty streets drowned in these yellow lights.

He was truly awestruck with the night. Everything about the night called to him. Because only at night, he was the only one around. Because at night, he felt like the king of the world. Because at night, he could truly be himself.

Because only at night, he could be honest with his feelings.

He could be honest and say that he was irrevocably in love with his best friend, Do Kyungsoo.

He sat down on the wooden chair placed beside the door and relaxed into it. If Kyungsoo knew that the reason he was sniffling since last week was due to this, the smaller man would get so mad at him. He would nag Chanyeol so much about being careless and would tell him how he needs to keep himself warm in these changing seasons. Gosh… Why was Kyungsoo so adorable?

He smiled fondly as he stared up at the night sky and adorned how gorgeous the stars looked. It was so hard to see them nowadays due to all the light pollution that enjoying a sight like this was nothing less than a miracle. He let out another sigh and basked in the peace of the night as his thoughts started to wander around Kyungsoo.

He still remembers the first day he had met him.

It had been raining hard that day and as always, he didn’t bring an umbrella with him. It’s wasn’t cause he didn’t watch the weather report that day; he was just forgetful about stuff like these. So when the rain started, he had no one to blame but himself. And because of that, he had soon found himself standing inside the bus stop near his university gate in hopes of finding any kind of public transport.

It had been more than ten minutes and Chanyeol was unhappy with how everything was going. There was not a single sign of any kind of transportation and it was starting to annoy him. He was about fish out his phone to call Sehun when suddenly he felt someone tapping his shoulder.

He turned around and felt the hairs on his skin jump. There was a man, albeit a head shorter than him, standing there with a murderous look on his face. His eyes were narrowed down in glare and his face had that signature ‘don’t fuck with me’ look. Even though Chanyeol was a man of 187 cm, he felt incredibly scared of the man standing in front of him.

Was he about to get robbed? Or worse, murdered?

The man must have understood the thoughts processing in his head because in the next moment he distanced himself from the taller man and looked down on the ground. Before Chanyeol could overthink this action, the smaller man spoke and in all honesty, he felt himself getting mesmerized with that deep honey voice.

“I’m not glaring at you.” The man had said sheepishly. “I just have a bad case of astigmatism and I left my glasses at home.”

“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” The smaller man apologized even when he didn’t do anything wrong. “I just need to make a call and I was wondering if you lend me your phone for a minute.”

Chanyeol, in any other situation, would have thought twice before handing anyone his phone. But as soon as the words escaped the man’s lips, he was unlocking his phone and giving it to him. He watched the smaller man with apt attention as the latter typed the number before dialing it. He stepped away from the smaller man when the latter started speaking to whoever was on the other side of the phone.

He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on the conversation but he sure picked up the Sehun’s name several times. He wondered how this man knew Sehun and why wasn’t he aware of this relation between the two? Sehun was sure to get bombarded with questions tonight.

He was so lost in his head that he didn’t realize when the man had stopped talking and was standing in front of him again with his phone on his hand. Only when the latter cleared his throat loudly, did Chanyeol realize that the conversation was already over.

“You saved me tonight.” The man stated with a small smile on his lips. “I was supposed to meet my brother tonight but he bailed out on me.”

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol assured him, returning the smile even though his heart was drumming strongly against his chest. “I’m Park Chanyeol, by the way.” He extended his hand as he introduced himself.

He watched the smaller man’s face in fascination as some kind of realization dawned upon him. “You’re Park Chanyeol?”

“Yes, I – I am.” He answered rather nervously. Did he do anything wrong? Did he ever offend him? But that couldn’t be true right? He was meeting this man for the first time in his whole life.

“I can’t believe I’m meeting you like this!” The smaller man answered rather enthusiastically. His face was scrunched up in an adorable heart-shaped smile and his eyes were crescent from it.

The sight in front of him was so enthralling that Chanyeol couldn’t say a word. He stared dumbly at the man as the man finally introduced himself.

“I’m Do Kyungsoo.” The smaller man said with that same bright smile. “I’m Sehun’s cousin.”

After that, they had shared a cab back home since the two of them lived only a few blocks apart. At that time, Chanyeol didn’t know that somehow, he’d meet Kyungsoo again the next day, and the day after that day, and even on the weekends. And before he knew, he was already spending all of his free time with Kyungsoo, because it was just that easy to be with him.

It was so easy to be just around Kyungsoo. To talk with him, to spend time with him – it was just so peaceful. He didn’t have to worry about his clothes or looks around him. He didn’t have to worry about his food habits or his weird drunken behaviors. He didn’t have to think twice before saying what was on his mind and heck, he could even show him his draft music without having any kind of fear.

Kyungsoo always had this mysterious soothing aura that calmed him down no matter how bad his day was. The way he spoke, the way he smiled, the way he walked, everything about him was so peaceful and serene that it was quite addictive. For someone who was named the human version of chaos, Chanyeol inevitably found himself drawn to Kyungsoo.

At first, he didn’t notice it. At first, he thought that all this irritability whenever Jongin (Sehun’s boyfriend) or Baekhyun (his friend from uni) hung too close around him was because they were taking his precious best friend away from him. But he soon realized that all this jealousy and anger was because he was in love with him when Yeri (Baekhyun’s cousin sister) asked Kyungsoo out.

When he came to know about the fact, he had been so grumpy and upset about it that he came down with a fever the next day. It was kind of an overreaction but he couldn’t help it. He always had his heart on his sleeves and that’s why he always ended up hurting the most. And in this case, Kyungsoo going out with Yeri was too much for him to take since he knew how wonderful Yeri was.

But somehow luck must have been on his side because the next day when Kyungsoo visited him, he had informed him that even though Yeri was an amazing person, she was not his type. This news created such joy inside his heart that he felt pretty bad for her.

But then again, she was his competition. And as a competitive person, he was glad that she was out of the race. But his happiness lasted only for a while because Yeri wasn’t the only person asking him out. Soon enough he found out that there were so many men and women falling head over heels for his best friend. The rate was so high that Kyungsoo often got at least three confessions every week.

It irked him to be honest. But then again, Kyungsoo was just so easy to fall in love with. From his big brown eyes to his cute button nose, to his plump heart-shaped lips - Kyungsoo was just so beautiful. And it was not only his face. His personality, his heart – they were simply made of gold. He couldn’t understand how a person could have it all?

And most of all, he couldn’t understand how a person like Kyungsoo chose to be best friends with him?

He was Park Chanyeol – the human version of chaos and clumsiness. He was so, so different from Kyungsoo. He laughed way too loud, ate too much food, did way too much exercise and spend way too much money. If Kyungsoo liked to do things at a minimum rate, Chanyeol would end up doing it at maximum. They were opposites. And maybe that’s why they found peace in each other.

Whenever Kyungsoo felt low Chanyeol would drag him out to his apartment and spend the entire night with him doing whatever that came to their mind. And whenever Chanyeol felt low, Kyungsoo would come over to his house to cook him his favorite dinner and they would spend the night watching various kinds of movies.

It was just so easy to fall for Kyungsoo. If he could quote about him falling for Kyungsoo, he’d choose the famous John green quote from fault in our stars.

**_“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”_ **

He knew he was being a bit cheesy with all this stuff, but he was just in love. He was so in love with Kyungsoo that it hurt every time he had to be away from the smaller man. It hurt his heart so much whenever he couldn’t see or hear Kyungsoo.

But then again, being away from the smaller man also had its charm.

Only during times like this, did he realize just how much of an impact Kyungsoo has on his life. From his music choice to clothes to food, Kyungsoo was there everywhere in his life. Even their dogs looked alike. Even though Kyungsoo was so small compared to him, his influence was so bigger than anything in his life.

God…He was so whipped for him. He felt like a teenager all over again.

Sometimes, if not often, he wondered how it would be like if he could be in a romantic relationship with him. Would their dynamics be all lovey-dovey or would they be just like the way they are right now? To be honest, he’d prefer if their current dynamics, because even if he loved Kyungsoo’s cute and squishy sides, he’d never be able to get over his quirky, fourth-dimensional nature.

The way Kyungsoo saw this world, the way he’d remark with those witty comments whenever Chanyeol did or said something stupid, the way he’d zone out at times, the way he’d ask questions with his eyes all big – Chanyeol would never be able to trade it with anything else in this whole wide world.

Chanyeol felt himself smile as several images of Kyungsoo flooded his mind. He quietly got up from his seat and walked inside his room before locking the door. It was close to three-thirty in the morning and if he didn’t sleep soon enough, he’s pretty sure he’s going to miss his morning class. With a sigh, he got inside his bed and stared up at the white ceiling.

If only he was brave like Yeri, things would have been so much easier.

If only he dared to confess to Kyungsoo, he wouldn’t be here longing for him. He wouldn’t be here, yearning to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him close. If he only he had the courage, he’d be there, beside Kyungsoo, holding him close to his chest as they both drift into dreamland.

But he was a coward.

He was so, so scared to lose Kyungsoo.

What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he felt disgusted? What if he was already in love with someone else? There were so many ‘what not’s and ‘what if’s that sometimes it drove him crazy. He knew that sometimes, it’s best to say what you feel rather than overthinking about it. But if confessing to Kyungsoo drove him away from Chanyeol, he’d rather stay mum about his feelings than saying it out loud.

Because, at least that way, Kyungsoo would still be in his life. Even if they stayed as best friends for eternities.

Chanyeol was truly a coward.

If only he was brave enough to make Kyungsoo fall in love with him.

If only he was brave enough to be true to his feelings.

If only.

If only.

**Author's Note:**

> Looks like you've finally reached the end of this rambling.   
> I'm really happy that you actually decided to read this and not give up on it. It's my shortest fic ever so far and I'm really happy that I could write after such a long time.  
> Thank you so much for choosing this story.  
> Please let me know what you think about it! 
> 
> Talk to me in Twitter  @nabamitanimi


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